


Love is a Bitch

by Andromeda54



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Angst, Awkward situations, Brother/Brother Incest, Drug Abuse, Eventual Smut, M/M, Masturbation, OCs - Freeform, Pining Lance (Voltron), Sexual Tension, Slight OOC, Slow Burn, Swearing, angsty keith, family life, highschool, klance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-05 12:40:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14044464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromeda54/pseuds/Andromeda54
Summary: Lance's mom never told him, but he has a half-brother. Now they must live together because of a tragic accident that happened to Keith's father. How will he deal with this sudden change? Things are about to get very interesting...THIS IS BROTHER-CEST. DONT LIKE. DONT READ. RUDE OR MEAN COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED.





	1. Chapter 1

“Lance, you have a brother I’ve never told you about.”

I look up from my bowl of cereal, milk uncomfortably dripping down the side of my chin. Confusion covers my entire face. “What…?” I can just barely mouth the word.

My mother crosses her arms and leans against the counter. She frowns at me then looks away, seemingly upset that she’s even talking to me in the first place. I’m surprised she is, for the record.

“He will be moving in tomorrow morning,” she says lowly while reaching for her purse. She pulls out a cigarette and lights it quickly, taking a long drag.

I’ve long forgotten about my frosted peanut butter puffs and have taken to staring at a certain spot on the shiny silver fridge. My vision is fading as I try to hold onto my composure.

“I have a fucking _brother_?”

“Would you watch your damn mouth? Honestly…” She puffs furiously on her cig and glares into me with those hateful blue eyes I’m all too familiar with, “ _Half_ -brother. His father just passed away and I’m the only other family he has in the area.”

You’d think this news would shock me more, but I’m mostly just pissed that she’s kept it from me for so long. “Why…why exactly haven’t you told me about this?” 

More scowling. “Don’t start. I have to be at work in fifteen minutes, so I don’t have time for you right now.”

With a sigh, I pick up my spoon and stare angrily at the cereal, swishing it around with the utensil.

_…I shouldn’t expect her to be anything more than who she is, I guess._

My mother works at an upscale richy-rich office every day filled with pompous fuck bags who think their shit doesn’t stink. She leaves sharply at six-thirty and doesn’t come home until late. I’m pretty sure she stays out at night to cheat on Dad. Truthfully, who the hell knows? She never really has time for me, because of that, so I’m used to the distance.

“I’m giving him the guest room, so make sure you clean all the junk out of it by this time tomorrow,” she says with a wave of her hand as she grabs her bag and opens the fridge. “Annie is in her crib. Don’t leave until the nanny gets here.”

The next thing I know, she’s gone and I’m left with a pit in my stomach and soggy cereal. I decide to just dump the bowl and skip the rest of breakfast. There’s no way I can eat now. I didn’t even get to ask anything about my apparent half-brother who’s moving into my freaking house tomorrow.

“There’s something wrong with that woman…” I mutter under my breath as I make my way to my little sister’s room. Regardless of how my maternal figure makes me feel, my kid sister is a welcoming rift in this family’s malfunction.

She’s awake, standing up and reaching for me. I pick her up and smile gently. “I gotta go soon, Anners.”

“Want mommy!” she reaches towards the door, tiny hands grabbing at nothing but air.

_She so damn cute._

Wispy brown hair and soft tan skin, just like mine. The tiny thing just turned three last month and is starting to talk an obscene amount now. She even repeated “ass fuck” which I said when I slammed my toe into the coffee table the other day.

_I really gotta start watching what I say around her…_

I sigh calmly and bring her to the kitchen to place her in the expensive frilly pink highchair.  “Mommy already went to work, Anne.”

She instantly pouts and crosses her arms, eyes strained on the table in front of her. When I turn around to grab her some cereal, I shake my head and say, “I know kid…”

The nanny comes just before my bus, thankfully. The damn woman is late sometimes and I’m forced to ride my bike, no matter what the weather. It’s not a very short ride either, approximately twenty minutes. Regardless, I’m thankful today isn’t one of those days as I give Annie a kiss on her forehead.

“Bye, bye, kiddo.”

“Bye, bye Wance…” I can tell she doesn’t want me to leave, but she’s gotten used to me leaving in the morning just like her mom does. Sometimes I feel really sad about it. I try not to let it bother me as I sling my book bag over my shoulder and rush myself onto the bus.

Hunk is sitting in the back and he waves to me, just like every morning. “Lance! Hey, did you do the Calc homework?”

When I take a seat next to him, my hands go to my bag and I pull out a folder and hand it to him.

“Ah, you’re a lifesaver man!”

“You’re just lucky I did it.”

He smiles one of his signature grins and pushes up the yellow headband that’s started to sag a little too low on his forehead. The bus runs over a bump as Hunk attempts to copy my work. “Lucky indeed, my friend.”

I sigh and place my chin on the brown seat in front of me, crossing my arms.

“You okay, dude?” Hunk asks from beside me, pencil furiously writing down answers that I’m not even sure are correct.

Another bump and my head bounces. “My mom dropped a bomb on me this morning.”

“Oh?” He seems interested enough. Hunk always is.

I let a groan slip from my lips and adjust my head so that I’m staring at the dirty bus floor now. “She told me I’ve got a half-brother…and he’s coming to live with us. _Tomorrow_ …”

Hunk stops writing and lifts the pencil up a bit higher. “…For real?”

I nod. “Apparently his dad died and now he’s gotta live with us…what kind of mother just comes out after seventeen years and says shit like that with such a straight ass face?”

“…Yours apparently…” Hunk mumbles.

My groaning is louder now as I lean back and kick the seat in annoyance, fortunate there isn’t anyone sitting in it.  “I’m so sick of her detachment to her own fucking children...” Hunk stays silent as I continue my rant.  “And if this kid is young! Jesus, well I guess I’ll be taking care of him _and_ Annie! As if I can just leave her with a nanny for her whole life. And who knows when Dad will come home from his business trip. Might as well just kiss my free time good bye!”

“I’m sorry man, that’s seriously messed up…” my friend replies, fiddling with the pencil in his hands.

I shake my head quickly. “It’s fine…sorry, I’m just on edge.”

The brunette says, “For good reason.”

He finishes and hands me my papers back, an apologetic stare on his usually upbeat features. “Try not to let your mom bother you. I bet your brother will be super cool!”

If he’s trying to make me feel better, it’s working. Hunk could probably make the chronically depressed smile. “Thanks, man.”

School drags by, every thought in my head is interrupted with the fact that I’ve had a brother for who knows how long and my mother never bothered to tell me about it.

Allura and Pidge are staring at me strangely as I pick at my food. “What?” I ask.

Hunk interrupts before the two girls can say anything. “Lance isn’t his normal happy-go-lucky self today because he just found out he has a brother now!”

The girl’s eyes go wide and they stare at me now with anticipation. “What?! Seriously?!”

“A brother? How old is he? Have you met him yet?”

I shake my head and end up pushing my food away from me, uneager to eat any of it. “Dammit, Hunk.”

“Sorry! I figured they would find out eventually…” He pokes his two pointer fingers together over his tray of pizza.

Allura grabs my hands and threads them into mine. “How wonderful, Lance! When will we get to meet him?”

A frantic blush covers my face. I’m still not fully accustomed to dating her yet. It’s only been like a month or so now. “He’s my _half_ -brother. He’s moving in tomorrow, I haven’t met him yet, and I have no idea how old he is…”

“Wonder if he’ll be coming to school with us…” Pidge pushes up her glasses and takes a sip out of her milk jug. “Not sure if this school can handle two of you.”

“You mean it couldn’t handle two sexy beasts like me?” I wiggle my eyebrows at her and Allura giggles.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Lance,” Pidge turns away from me as Shiro joins us.

“Did I miss something?” the eldest male glances at mine and Allura’s hands and then at Hunk who is shoving pizza down his throat.

I uncomfortably take my hands away from Allura’s. Shiro’s had a crush on her for a long time and it’s just weird to be so nonchalant about the whole thing. I know he took it well and he’s okay with us dating, but it still feels so damn awkward. I look to Pidge to explain so I don’t have to.

She sighs as she grabs a book and says, “Lance has a brother, apparently.”

Shiro tilts his head and grins. “Really? Since when?”

“That’s what I’d like to know…” I grunt.

“Actually, Lance doesn’t know much about him. But he’ll be moving in tomorrow!” Allura is way more excited about this impending mystery sibling than I am, that’s for sure.

Shiro smiles then sits down and begins eating his own food. I’ve always been a little jealous of this guy. He’s tall and handsome and two years older than me. The reason he was held back was because his parents moved around a lot, I guess. Still, I just think he’s so damn cool. On the surface I might pretend to be someone with confidence, but when I look at a guy like him, it just all seems to fade away. I have no idea why Allura chose me over him; it still confuses me to this day.

“Sounds like things are going to get pretty interesting,” Shiro says, leaning his elbows on the table while biting into an apple.

_I wish I could look that cool when I eat._

The beautiful girl across from me chatters away and I start to zone off a little. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so worried and nervous.

Calculus goes by at a fucking snail’s pace. I want nothing more than to go home and clean out the guest room, as weird as that sounds. The sooner I can get this whole “brother” thing over with, the faster my life can go back to being somewhat normal.

Hunk passes me a note that reads,

**Yo, I could come over and help clean if you want? I miss Annie!**

I nod at him and he grins.

When it’s finally time to go home, I let out the biggest sigh of my life. My phone chimes and Hunk is by my side as students flee from the schools iron ball and chains.

“Are you pumped, bro?!”

I roll my eyes and push him out of my way. “So fucking pumped, bro.”

“I haven’t been over in a while. We should do this more often. I love Annie.”

“She loves _you_. When you cook for her, you’re like the mother she never had.”

“Oh, well…that’s kind of depressing…”

I start to laugh and he joins in as we climb into the bus. The ride home is short and we both exit when the vehicle reaches my subdivision.

Hunk gapes a little as we reach my house. “Wow, I almost forgot how nice your place is…”

I hike my book bag up on my shoulders and let out a grated sound. “I kind of hate this house.”

“Yeah…what good is an expensive home if your parent’s hardly live in it with you?”

“You’re telling me…” I grumble out the words as I shove my key into the door’s lock. The nanny is sitting in the living room with Annie, toys covering the rug where the toddler is.

“Wance!!!” she pushes herself up from the floor and waddles over to me. I quickly swoop her into my arms and burry my face in her belly, tickling her and electing a high pitch scream that my eardrums are still adapting to.

“Hunk is here too,” I say as I pass her to the larger boy standing beside me.

“Hi Annie!” Hunk coos and pushes his nose into hers.

“ _Bunk_!”

I think I start to see his eyes water. “Oh my god, she still calls me Bunk…”

“Don’t cry, dude,” I say teasingly.

“I won’t…I…promise…”

_He’s totally crying._

The nanny starts picking up the toys and smiles at me. I awkwardly smile back. She’ll leave whenever she’s done tidying up. I appreciate what she does, but I always wish that was my mom instead.

“Well, let’s start cleaning out the guest room. Hunk, you can bring Annie. We’ll all clean together for a while.”

“Cleaning!” the small girl shouts.

“That’s right, Annie!” Hunk boosts her high up and puts her on his shoulders as we all climb the stairs and she chants the word “cleaning” over and over again.

When we reach the room, the door creaks and it smells musty. “Pretty sure no one’s been in here for years…”

“Spooky…” Hunk murmurs from behind me.

“Spoopy…” Annie chimes in.

“It’s not haunted, guys,” I laugh and head over to the window, opening it with a grunt. The entire room is filled with random boxes and junk that I used to just throw in here when I was done with it. Pretty sure there’s thousands of dollars’ worth of crap that’s just collecting dust.

“We’ll just box up all this stuff and put it in the attic,” I say as I approach a pile of books. It’s all my old comics from that weird space show I used to watch.

_God, why didn’t I just throw any of this away?_

Shrugging, I grab a half full box and dump everything I possibly can into it. Hunk and Annie start to do the same.

Before long, we’ve cleared out most of the room. The feeling of impending doom seems to worsen when I realize that I’m just one step closer to meeting him.

“Who’s hungry?!” Hunk exclaims.

“Me, me, ME!” Annie jumps up and down and does her little grabby hands at Hunk from her spot on the floor.

“Is it cool if I make dinner?”

“I’ll never pass up your food, dude,” I say with a grin and a rumbling stomach.

Hunk is super good in the kitchen. It’s like he was just gifted with the skills at birth. Or maybe it’s because he has a mom who taught him how to do it all. Whatever the case, his food is damn tasty. I’m not used to home cooked meals, so I always get a little excited when Hunk comes over. I feel like Annie does too.

Hunk grabs the apron hanging from the hook by the oven and begins wrapping it around his waist. “How about some chicken parmesan?”

“Yum yum, chicken!”

I pat Annie on the head and give Hunk a thumbs up. “Thanks, man.”

My friend holds up his hand to me. “No thanks needed. Cooking in this kitchen makes me feel like Gordon Ramsay!”

I admit, our kitchen is really big and luxurious and stocked full of food almost all the time. I guess it would be pretty exciting, if you’re into that sort of thing.

When I pull out my phone, I realize I forgot to check my message from earlier.

_Allura:_ **Let me know how things go! Don’t be scared! Love you <3**

I reply quickly with a heart and a thanks. It’s so weird that she’s saying the L word already. Though I mean, we fucked already, so I guess she has every right to say it. For some reason, I just haven’t been able to say it back.

Annie tugs on my pant leg and I pick her up gently. She starts playing with my hair and I say, “Hey I’m gunna put on some TV for her. Do you need any help?”

“Naw, I’ll be fine. I’ll call you when it’s done.” Hunk winks and I roll my eyes.

“Thanks _mom_.”

He puts on this high pitch mock voice when he says, “You’re welcome sweetie!”

_Life would be boring without Hunk around._

I end up watching some strange puppet show with my little sister. My mind is cloudy from the lack of food and my absolute obsessing over my current predicament.

Hunk calls us to the kitchen and all three of us eat to our hearts content.

“This is so good, man…” Seriously, my taste buds are too acquainted with school lunch and cereal.

“Your flattery _will_ cause my ego to grow, so I advise against it,” Hunk mentions.

Annie shouts, “Fwattery!”

“She’s starting to really repeat words, oh boy…” my friend states while crouching a bit into me.

I lean a little towards him and whisper, “Whatever you do, don’t swear around her.”

“Noted,” he replies, slurping up some spaghetti. “So how old do you think this brother of yours is going to be?”

I shrug and stab a piece of chicken. “No idea. I don’t remember my mom being pregnant aside from with Annie…”

“That means, well maybe he’s a twin?”

I recoil and almost drop my fork, “Oh _god_.”

 “Or not! Maybe he’s just really close to your age,” Hunk continues, making me feel a little better.

For some reason, the thought of having a twin terrifies me.

“I doubt he’s a twin, now that I think about it. If he lives around here, people would have gotten him mixed up with you at some point by now, right?”

“I guess…” I pick at my food now, glad that I’ve eaten most of it. My appetite is fading again.

Hunk notices my distress it seems and he nudges me with his shoulder. “Well anyways, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Things will work out… Wanna eat all your moms’ ice cream?”

My eyes slide towards him then as I say, “Yes.” 

“Ice cream!” Annie yells and uses her hands to push noodles in her tiny mouth.

There’s nothing better than eating expensive ice cream at the end of a stressful day. I just hope I can sleep tonight.

“Hey, my mom’s here. I’ll see you tomorrow!” Hunk waves goodbye and gives Annie a kiss on the head.

“Bunk go bye-bye!”

His eyes get all sparkly again and I start to laugh.

“Bye-bye, Bannie…” He wipes a tear from his eye and grabs his book bag. “See ya!”

I throw him a two finger salute along with a smile as he disappears through the door.

“Time for homework, then bed.”

“Yuck, homework,” Annie sticks her tongue out as I pick her up from the couch and tread up to my room.

“Yeah, yuck!” I answer her.

When I’m done, Annie is sleeping on one of the large pillows on my bed. I crack my neck and pick her up then bring her to her own room across the hall. My eyes glance at the guest room which is right beside mine. Soon, there’s going to be someone living in it. Someone possibly my age. My…brother.

My heart is racing as I place the sleeping girl into her crib for the night. I try to let my nerves float away as I brush some silky hair out of her face, but even my sweet baby sister can’t calm me down.

_This horrible feeling…why do I feel like something bad is going to happen?_

With a sigh, I leave her room and retreat to the bathroom where I brush my teeth and stare at my reflection for a whole ten minutes.

“God, I need sleep…” I tell myself. Maybe voicing my thoughts will help my damn subconscious to chill the fuck out.

It takes me almost an hour to finally pass out.

I wake up to lights blinding my eyes. My hazy brain can’t comprehend what’s happening until my mother pulls open my curtains and I throw the blanket over my face.

“Lance, get up. Your brother is here and I have to leave early for a meeting.”

“Goddammit…” I groan out the word and that’s when she pulls the entire blanket from me, cold morning air attacking my skin.

“Get. Up. Now,” she demands, fire in her eyes.

My own look away and I simply nod, feeling more awake than ever. The terrible feeling from last night is consuming me. I wish I could disappear just for today. Bring me back when this shit is over with…

Unfortunately, the world doesn’t work like that, and I’m forced to drag myself into the bathroom and shower quicker than I ever have before.

There’s a knock on the door as I’m slipping into my pants. “Lance! I’m leaving now. Your brother is in the kitchen. Show him to his room when you’re done. Oh, and he’s going to school with you today as well!”

“W-wait, what?!” I stammer over my words and slip on the wet floor, hitting the side of my head on the tiled wall. Pain erupts in my skull as I right myself and zip up my jeans.

_Shit, that’s definitely going to bruise…_

I can already hear her high heeled footsteps walking away from me.

_Great._

My mom is the queen of throwing me for a fucking loop.

I notice my hands are shaking as I grip the door handle and turn it to compel myself down the stairs and to the kitchen. With a deep breath I approach the archway and turn the corner.

There’s a boy sitting with his back facing me. He’s got dark hair, long in the back, almost like a mullet or something.

_He looks like a girl from behind._

Though his body is very much that of a male, I notice. When I step a bit closer, he flinches and turns around.

His face is somewhat similar to mine, I suppose. His nose is a little higher up, but it’s shaped like my own. Honestly though…that’s about it. Everything about this guy is completely different from me. He’s got paler skin, darker hair, thicker eyebrows, and shit, I think his eyes are like, lavender colored. This guy is almost…pretty. If guys can be pretty.

_Guys can be pretty, right?_

For a split second, I notice two small pieces of hair on top of his head. They’re sticking up and parting in different ways.

_Oh god, my hair does that exact same thing!_

The boy has a mug of something steaming in his fingerless-gloved hands. 

_Who the hell wears fingerless gloves? Does he ride a motercycle or something?_

As he lulls his head to the side and takes a sip, he says, “You must be Lance.”

“I uh, I-I must be,” I reply back with a bit of a stutter. My chest feels like it’s on fire. Something about this guy is intimidating as hell.

He stands and lazily walks towards me. With each of his steps, I can feel my heart pounding harder.

A sigh escapes him as he sips on the mug again and places it onto the table beside us. “I guess we’re brothers.”

“What’s your name?”

He gazes at me with narrowed eyes. I kind of regret asking. “You don’t even know my name?”

“No one told me,” I bite back.

I watch as he begins to rub a thumb against his clenched fist as he replies with, “Keith.”

“Keith…McClain?”  

“No, idiot. It’s Kogane. I have a different last name.”

“Well shit, my fucking bad. My mom never tells _me_ anything.” My words are harsh, but I feel like he deserves it because of that “idiot” remark. No one calls me an idiot and gets away with it.

“She’s my mom too, dumbass,” Keith tells me.

I swallow and begin to realize that this guy really is my brother. “A-are you sure? You don’t really look anything like me…”

“Thank god for that,” he utters.

I’m shocked by his words. “What the fuck?”

“Do you want me to dig through my bag and show you my birth certificate or something? Melanie McClain is my mother, alright? I never asked for such a terrible mom, but my dad’s fucking dead so looks like I’m shit out of luck.” Keith’s voice cracks when he finishes. He then wipes a hand across his face and lowers his stare.

This boy’s sudden vulnerability causes me to lower my guard. “When did he die…?”

“That’s none of your damn business.” His words are sharp and menacing. I worry about pressing any further for fear he might lunge at my throat.

“Alright…it’s, that’s fine, uh…” I scratch at the back of my neck uncomfortably, glancing around at the walls. “I’ll show you to your room, if you want…”  

The boy sniffs quietly and goes to grab a bag that’s been sitting on the far end of the table. As he approaches me again, I finally realize something.

_He’s like…an inch taller than me. Awe fuck…_

“How old are you?” I ask carefully while we walk up the stairs.

“Eighteen…”

“What? When’s your birthday?”

“…October twenty-third, 1994.”  

I stop and cut out ahead of him, eyes wide and in shock. “Mine’s October eighteenth! 1995!”

“Whoop-dee-fuckin’-doo…” He uses the side of his hand to push me away and finish ascending the stairs.

“We’re like…exactly a year apart…”

_I can’t believe my mom never told me anything about him…why would she do that to me? How could she…_

“Is this mine?” Keith points dully to the door that I’ve stopped in front of.

I shake my head up and down, lost in my own thoughts. I’m wondering now if Keith’s dad told him about me a lot more than my mom ever bothered to tell me about him. Maybe he’s just not as shocked because he already knew a decent amount about me.

He enters the room and scans the area. I watch silently as he does.

“Uh…there’s one bathroom on this floor, two downstairs and one in the basement. So, yeah. It’s right down the hall, that way.” I point to my left and watch intently as he ignores me and approaches the window.

He uses his gloved hands to open it and stick his head fully outside. My heart begins to race again as I see his one foot start to lift up off the ground behind him.

“H-hey!” I run over to the raven haired boy.

When I glance down at him through the glass, he mutters, “This house is suffocating…” His eyes are closed and his hair is moving in the wind, brushing gently against his pale cheeks. My face feels hot as I watch him.

Some other crazy feeling is stirring inside me now. Something I can’t quite pin point. Perhaps it’s curiosity, or maybe excitement. Whatever it is, I’m unbelievably fascinated by this human being—this boy who I’ll now be calling my brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a kudo or a comment! I'll be writing more to this soon :] Thanks so much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

 

Keith is taking a shower in my bathroom...probably naked.

_What the hell am I thinking? Of course he’s naked. Why is this even crossing my mind in the first place?_

I groan loudly enough to cause Annie to tilt her head at me in confusion from her spot on the kitchen floor. I kneel myself down to her level and pat her head gently.

“Do you think I’m going crazy, Anners?”

She reaches her chubby hands towards me and cups my face between them. “Wance is crazy.”

“Well dammit…”

“Dammit!” she copies happily, slapping my face softly multiple times.

My eye lids narrow at nothing but myself. “No, no Annie, don’t say that.”

She blows me a raspberry and stuffs a toy in her mouth. I’m attempting to make myself breakfast now, as if the act should require the word “attempting” at all in the first place. My hands keep trembling and my stomach is queasy to say the least. Nothing in the fridge or the cupboards looks halfway appetizing to my over-stimulated brain.

I blow my own raspberry, decide that breakfast is overrated, and plop myself into one of the kitchen chairs. A stinging headache begins pounding at the side of my skull where I slammed it in bathroom earlier. I arch my back and burry my face in my arms in defeat.

_Maybe I should just raid my mom’s medicine cabinet instead…I could really use some Vicodin right now…_

The footsteps that are slowly approaching the kitchen only add to my distress.

“Is...this Annie?” 

When I glance my head to the side, I can see my uh…my _brother_. He’s standing in the archway with damp hair and new clothes on.  The shirt he’s wearing is tight and grips the well-defined muscles beneath it perfectly. His jeans have holes in them, but they look stylish. I can smell his cologne from where I’m sitting. Honestly…he looks so damn cool. He reminds me of Shiro.

_…Since when did I become so observant of dudes? I guess…because I’m just so curious about him._

 I try to empty my mind of weird thoughts and focus on answering him instead. “Uh, yeah.”

My observant eyes watch as he lowers himself down beside her just as I had moments ago. There’s a brief staring match between the two before the little girl removes the toy from her mouth and gestures it towards him.

Keith uncomfortably stares at it then quickly glances at me. His eyes are so deep, even in a situation like this. I clear my throat before speaking, feeling nerves bubble up inside me for unknown reasons once again.

“Just take the toy, dude…” I say quietly, looking away from his judgments.

From my peripherals, I can see him slowly grasp the toy in his own hand. Annie does one of her happy shrieks and then uses another toy to smash it into the one Keith is now holding.

“Jesus Christ, she’s fucking loud,” he says, annoyance laced in his tone. 

Instantly, I push myself from the chair and glare in his direction. “Don’t swear around her, she’ll repeat everything you say.”

He stands and places the toy on the counter, eyeing me lazily. “I’m surprised you care.”

“What? Why wouldn’t I? She’s my sister.” My headache is momentarily replaced with rage.

The other male sighs and turns around to search through the food pantry. “I guess growing up with all this money you wouldn’t really care about someone like me.”

 Confusion and sadness erupt inside me. “…N-no one ever told me that you even exist!”

With a granola bar in his hands, he turns then eyes me up and down defensively. “She never fucking told you?”

“Dude, don’t swear!”

He rolls his eyes and closes the cabinet loudly. I cringe at the noise as he begins to walk away. For fear that he might retreat on bad terms; I begin to force words out of my mouth.

“I’m serious. She never told me about you. Yesterday was the first day she ever spoke a word about me having a brother!”

Keith stops walking for a moment and looks down at the food in his hands. “How am I supposed to believe you?”

This guy is extremely guarded. “Why wouldn’t you…? You know what she’s like, don’t you? She’s a piece of sh—” I stop myself abruptly and rub frantic fingers through my hair. “She’s…she’s a trashy human being. It’s not fair that she kept it from me for so long. I feel like I’m the one who should be given some freaking sympathy here…”

He quickly closes the distance between us and locks his eyes with mine once more. Our proximity is causing my hands to sweat. “So you’re saying know absolutely nothing about me?”

My throat feels abnormally dry as I swallow and nod. “Nothing…”

With a brash sigh he pulls away from me then laughs sardonically. “What a joke…this family is a joke.”

Hearing someone else say what I think on a daily basis out loud, especially him, really impacts me more than I thought it ever would.

I lower my eyes and bite at my lip. “I know…”

His voice grows penetrating in the next moments, “Yeah, as if you have any right to complain, rich boy.”

When I jerk my head back up at him, I hear the door open. It’s the nanny, which means I have to get my ass to the bus stop. We’ll have to bicker later.

My hands go straight for my phone and book bag. “We have to go now. The bus is going to be here any minute.”

It’s a struggle not to let his comment bother me but those spoken words are slowly burning little holes in my chest. Hands still shaking, I grab Annie and run her over to the nanny.

The woman smiles at me and says, “Have a nice day.”

“Must be nice having a maid do everything for you,” Keith mouths as we exit the door and run towards the bus stop.

Annoyance blisters through the tiny holes he’s already created. “Would you fucking shut up? She’s the baby-sitter, not a maid.”

Keith pulls on his shoulder bag as he stands feet away from me, saying, “Oh, Lance is a badass now that his little sister isn’t around.”

“She’s your sister too, jackass!” I growl the words out and end up gripping the front of his nice red shirt in my fists.

He glances down at my fingers and then back up at me. When his eyes meet mine, I hate that I can feel heat rising in my cheeks. I attempt to tell myself that it’s because I’m mad and not because I like the way he’s looking at me.

_Why would I like anything about him? He’s obviously turning out to be nothing but a selfish prick._

“Unless you want me to drop kick your face into the pavement, I suggest you let go.” The way he says those words causes my grip to loosen, but only slightly. I’ve been in fights before, and even though I’m probably fooling myself in thinking that I can take him, I stand my ground.

There’s a smirk growing on his face that would probably make any girl throw themselves in his direction.

_I can be jealous at the most random of times, I swear…_

“You wanna push your luck with me, then?” he says with vigor.

“What can I say, guess I’m feeling lucky today,” I reply back.

_Nailed it. Lance McClain can be cool too, bitches._

In the next moment, I feel a fist connect with my jaw and my entire body is falling. I try to force myself up, but his knee is jabbing into my back, causing the breath to leave my lungs and tears to squeeze at the corners of my eyes.

As his palm pushes on the back of my skull, forcing my face into the cement, I think I start to feel blood dripping down my chin.

_God, he’s so damn fast! I hardly even had time to react. So not cool…_

“Get the fuck off me, man!” I yell and kick my arms and legs, succeeding in grabbing his stupid mullet with my free hand and pulling insanely hard, enough to jerk his entire body towards me.

“You _fucking_ —!!” is all he says before using his boot to push on my face.

As we’re tangled in a mess of dirt and blood, the bus pulls up and beeps loudly in our ears.

My heart stops working for a moment as we both instantly stand upright and march ourselves onto the vehicle.

“What in the world were you two doing?!” the bus driver shouts at us.

Nothing is more embarrassing than getting bitched out by the freaking bus driver.

“Go sit down! If this happens again, I won’t hesitate to inform the principal!”

“ _Busted_!” someone shouts from the way back.

_What a goddamn pain._

As I skulk off to my seat, Keith leaves me to sit at the front where he speaks softly to the old lady. Probably letting her know that he’s new and yada yada…Or maybe he’s just trying to suck up, who knows? Whatever he’s doing, I don’t give two shits anymore. From now on it looks like I’ll just have to focus on staying the fuck away from him at all costs.

Hunk is wide eyed, mouth hanging slightly open when I sit beside him.

“Hey…” I say to break the awkward silence.

“Uh, hey?” he says—or asks. “What the hell was that all about…? Is that your brother?”

I want to pound my head against the seat instead of answering that question. Maybe the pressure will make my insides feel better.

_Everything hurts…_

“You’re bleeding, dude,” Hunk adds, poking the side of my cheek.

I swipe his hand away and run my arm across my chin, glaring at the floor. “His name is Keith and he’s a fuck-face.” 

“What happened?” my friend probes me.

“He kept saying shit about my family being rich…you know how I get when people start fucking with me because of that…” I’m not exactly a hot-head, but I get hella protective of my sister and myself. Just because my mom and dad have a bunch of money doesn’t make me some stuck up nob. And it definitely doesn’t give anyone the right to treat me like I’m different.

Hunk lowers his head and says, “Oh, man…”

“I hope that asshole falls off a cliff,” I gripe while dabbing my finger on my lip, noticing that the lower part of it is busted open.

_That shit’s gunna swell. Great._

“I think my life’s falling apart…” There’s nothing else I feel like doing other than complaining my heart out. At least Hunk never seems to mind when I do.

“There, there, Lance,” he pats me on the back as I’m leaning my pulsing head against the coolness of the plastic seat in front of me. “Here, the window should help more.” He stands and then softly shoves me towards the wall of the bus.

When I rest the side of my face on the glass, I’m relieved that it really does feel better. Wish I would have taken those pain meds earlier, though…I was too distracted by my stupid brother.

_Damn him. Damn him for making me feel so uneasy and damn him for slamming me into the fucking asphalt._

“It might be rocky at first, but things will work themselves out,” my friend informs me kindly.

I pressure myself to accept that Hunk is probably right, but my anger and discomfort override any kind of natural thought process. Honestly, I never want to see his stupid mullet ever again, I don’t even care that he’s my brother.

“Screw him…” I whisper, lowly enough that I don’t think Hunk can hear over the surrounding sounds.

When we reach school, I make sure to avoid Keith at all costs. Of course, my efforts are crushed as soon as I notice that he’s in my homeroom.

_Of course he is, they would put him with his **brother** after all.   _

I scowl at him as he talks calmly to the teacher, acting like he’s such a good person and didn’t just punch his brother in the jaw.

_What a snake._

And even though I’m still mad, I can’t seem to look away from him. It disgusts me that I have this horrible urge to get to know him better. I’ll stamp that out eventually, I’m sure.

He slithers himself across the room and sits in the seat behind me. Suddenly, the overwhelming sensation of paranoia drowns me. My skin is itchy and I want to run out of the room as fast as I can.

“Your lip is jacked…” I can hear him whisper to me.

The side of my eye twitches in annoyance. “You got lucky.”

His laugh is so freaking effortless. “Lucky enough to completely wreck you?”

Once again, he’s making me feel such intense burning rage. “Next time I’ll break your fucking face,” I growl out, turning to glower at him fully. When I do, he just smiles, that one that makes me want to blush.

“Can’t wait.”

By the time lunch strolls around, I’m insanely tired of feeling like I want to attack every person I see with a red shirt. I take a moment to wonder if things will ever be normal again. Or if they were ever normal to begin with.

Allura runs up to me and gives me a big hug. I’m a bit shocked as I try not to let the tray of food wobble out of my hands.

“Hunk told us everything!” she tells me.

“Oh, joy…” I utter. Hunk can’t keep secretes. Not that I told him to, but still. It’d be nice to have some form of privacy.

The boy with the sweatband stands as I go to sit down, saying, “Sorry, they were asking and I—”

“It’s fine,” I say with a wave of my hand. Honestly, it _is_ fine. I’m just in a horrible mood and will probably get mad at someone for breathing too much of my air.

“Why did you have to fight him though, Lance? Your lip is all puffy now…” My girlfriend asks a little anger slipping into her tone.

I shrug and place a breadstick in my mouth. “I didn’t choose the thug life.”

“Har har,” Pidge drones. “Got your ass beat, didn’t you?”

My eyes go into glare mode and I flip her off.

Allura grabs my hand and lowers it with hers. “Lance, that’s enough.”

“Pidge started it!” I defend.

“Lance is just having a hard time adjusting. He’ll be fine, right dude?” Hunk interjects, attempting to calm me and the others.

“Yes, but he shouldn’t be so aggressive…”

“He’s just going through his _edgy_ phase.”

_…Where the hell is Shiro?_

I ignore my friend’s bickering and scan the room, eventually finding him. My stomach sinks when I see who he’s sitting with.

_The fucking snake._

Without a word, I stand, my chair screeching across the linoleum floor.

“Lance…?” Allura’s voice fills my ears but I can’t respond. I’m too busy stampeding myself over to where the two of them are chatting so casually.

“The hell’s going on over here?” I say as soon as I’m within earshot of them.

My brother glares my way and smirks again.

_Holy demented shit, I’m so sick of his face!_

“Hey, Lance. Keith’s your brother then, huh?” Shiro turns towards me and uses the back of his chair to rest his arm on. “I know him. He goes to the same gym that I do.”

I could just about barf all over the both of them.

Jealousy flames inside me as Keith’s grin gets larger, eyes never leaving me. “Did you need something?” he asks in such a nonchalant tone.

“Uh, yeah, Shiro, our table is over there,” I point over my shoulder, my scowl faltering between the two.

My friend seems confused as he says, “Uhm, okay. How about Keith sits with us then?” 

A flashy laugh escapes me as I stare directly at the douchebag once more. “Over my dead body.”

Shiro stands and places his hands on my shoulders. “Alright, alright, Lance. I’ll stay with Keith today; you just go back and sit with Allura.”

“Oh so you two can talk about me behind my back!?”

“Lance, calm down—”

“Don’t let him fool you, Shiro! He’s a complete tool!” I shout loud enough that a few students look my way. I’m fully aware of how stupid I look, but if I don’t prove my point I feel like I’ll go insane. “ _He_ did this to me!” I yell, pointing a shaking finger to my lip, “Just because he’s jealous of my fucking money!”

Keith stands then and grips my wrist so hard I think for a moment that it might bruise. He starts pulling me out of the lunch room with rushed feet and determination in his step. A teacher tries to stop us but he says nothing as he tugs on me, dragging me further and further away.

“The fuck?! What is your damn problem? Let go, you cock-knocker!” I shake my arm and scratch at his skin but he doesn’t falter.

Not until we reach the bathroom where he slams me into the wall and uses his strong arm to pound a fist into the tiled wall inches away from my skull.

He’s close to me again and I’m feeling something other than hatred for him. As his furious lavender eyes burn into me, I notice that he’s breathing heavily. The sound of it is almost sensual and I’m reminded of having sex with Allura.

The need to carve my own brain out with a screwdriver is overwhelming.

_What the hell is wrong with me?!_

“I can see now that you’re a spoiled brat who can’t handle any kind of criticism or taunting,” Keith says fiercely. “And I can’t have you fucking up anything at this school for me. So be a good little boy and forget I exist.”

“Gladly.” I scowl at him, but it’s not as strong as I would have hoped. His statement has caused me sadness and even more curiosity. Plus there’s this uncomfortable swirling in my lower stomach that I can’t seem to get rid of.

“Good. Then starting now, we’ll be nothing but brothers who hardly speak. I’ll ignore you, and you’ll ignore me. Got it?”

“Uh yeah, I _got it_. I’m not stupid,” I snap, leaning forward a bit to emphasize my speech.

“Oh…?” Keith says mysteriously, verging into me a bit further. My heart quickens and all the blood in my body rushes downward. “You almost had me convinced otherwise.”

When he turns and walks away, I slide myself to the floor and sit on the restroom ground until the bell rings for third period. Even when the piercing sound enters my ears, I still feel frozen and shocked beyond any form of belief. My thoughts are swimming in a thousand others, all swamped and messed up, never making enough sense to sort themselves out.

_I…was I just…turned on by him?_

“Oh god…oh shit…” I say the words out loud, gripping the sides of my skull and tugging at my hair.

Even though I don’t understand it, I’m still left thinking that there’s something about Keith that I can’t help but want more of.  

_No, no, no…this can’t be happening…_

The smell of his cologne is stuck in my nostrils and I want to escape it so badly. Instead of going to my next class, I put myself on autopilot and go retrieve my bag from my locker then leave the school building. I’ve never skipped before, but this time it feels right. There’s nothing inside of me that’s telling me to stay.

I just need some time away from him…I have to figure things out.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a kudo or a comment! Thanks so much for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

My phone is blowing up in my pocket. It takes everything in me just to ignore it. I know it’s probably Allura and I honestly don’t want anything to do with her right now, as horrible as that sounds. Just a month ago she was all I could think about. There wasn’t anything I wanted more than to be alone with her and screw her brains out. She was so sexy to me…now the thought of her is just causing me frustration. Not so much at her, but at myself.

_Why don’t I feel that way anymore…? Why don’t I want her to comfort me?_

Deep down I know the reason, I’m just having a hard time accepting it or even coming to terms with it.

“This is all that assholes fault…” I mumble while wiping an arm across my face, ridding myself of any stray tears. I’m sick of crying and walking at this point. This part of town is quiet but I still feel nervous about ditching and being out in the open like this. What else am I supposed to do, though? I can’t go home, Marcy the nanny is there with Annie and she’d probably end up telling my mom if I came home this early without an excuse from the school.

I end up in a small secluded park with a few benches and a swing set. With solace, I find myself swinging back and forth for almost an hour. My phone has vibrated in my pocket more times than I can count by now and it’s about time I finally check it.

My heart sinks as I see the screen is filled missed calls and text messages, as if I was expecting anything less. Instead of replying, I swipe to clear them all away then go into my messages to find Shiro’s number. He even sent me a text. I’m not sure why I’m shocked about that, he was the one who saw Keith drag me out of the lunch room after all.

_Shiro:_ **Hope everything’s okay with you, man. Allura’s pretty worried about ya.**

I hate the fact that he mentioned my girlfriend for some unbeknown reason. Anger festering, I start to type him back.

_Lance:_ **Everything is…so frustrating right now, actually. I’m not sure who else to talk to…**

Before sending the message, I read it over and over again and cringe at how pathetic I sound. Every inkling I have is telling me to delete the whole thing and just continue wallowing in my self-pity and confusion.

Somehow, I force my thumb to send the dumb text and instant regret washes over me. Shiro and I aren’t exactly close. I could have gone to Hunk about this…but then again, that in itself just doesn’t feel like such a good idea. If I let Hunk know about anything I’m going through right now, his big mouth will blab and I’ll be worse off than I already am. Unfortunately, I don’t really have a best friend whom I can trust when things get awkward or too much to handle. Maybe I’m hoping that Shiro will be that for me somehow.

My fingers shake as I wait for a reply.

_I’m so damn nervous…_

It’s because I’ll always consider Shiro to be thebomb.com. He’s got class and I’m just an ass. And even so much as _thinking_ about revealing to him that I might have some kind of fucked up infatuation with my half-brother makes my stomach twist into a thousand sickening knots.

A few more minutes drag by before my screen glows and Shiro’s name appears before my eyes.

 _Shiro:_ **What’s going on, Lance?**

My breathing has escalated to the point that I’m making short sobbing noises and tears are starting to push at the corners of my eyes again. I want to throw my phone into the dirt and retreat to the forest where I can live out the rest of my days in solitude. Someone like me shouldn’t be allowed to exist in society anyways, not when I can look into the eyes of my own brother and feel my dick getting hard.

A growl escapes me as I heatedly stand from the swing and grip my phone so violently I can feel the plastic popping and snapping back at me. It’s taking every ounce of rationality I have left not to scream at the top of my lungs and throw myself in front of a speeding truck.

I can’t tell Shiro, I just can’t. There’s no way. I don’t even know what this _is_ yet. Maybe I’m just really horny. Maybe this is just some kind of weird teenage thing. Like masturbating or getting random boners during class.

As I sit shivering in the grass, I attempt to compose myself. The late September air is warm on my cheeks—I try to take comfort in that alone. If nothing else, I’ve seceded in walking again. I’m tired of being outside and I want nothing more than to see Annie. She might be the welcoming distraction I need to bring myself out of this mess I’ve somehow created. Even if Marcy calls my mom, who cares? At this point all I want is a break.

It’s about two o’clock by the time I arrive home which is convenient. I wait on the front porch step for only a few minutes until I see the bus. Apparently my entire being can sense that Keith is near, so I quickly stand and unlock the door, rushing myself into the home and straight to my little sister.

“Wance is here!” she says while reaching for me.  

I take her from Marcy and hug her small body tightly against mine. It’s the closest feeling to contentment I’ve had all day.

“Where is your brother?” Marcy asks while cleaning up a bit.

My frown deepens. “He’s coming…” I grumble as Annie begins to shriek and yank on my hair.

Before he can come through the door, I’m upstairs with Annie sitting on my floor. She’s chewing on a stuffed lion while I’m currently attempting to stop my heart from escaping my chest. I can hear his footsteps slowly coming up the staircase—closing in on me.

_Oh god, don’t come in here. Just leave me alone. Please…please…_

The entrance creaks open and I have a mini heart attack until I realize that it’s only Marcy. My breathing slows and a cough bubbles up from my throat. I’m so astonished by my own extreme emotions that I can hardly understand what she’s saying.

“What…?” I ask slowly, stroking the bump on the side of my head with the tips of my fingers.

“I said the school called earlier…they told me you weren’t present for your afternoon classes…”

_Dammit…I didn’t even think of the school calling. Well I’m royally screwed._

“Now, your mother has directed me to always let her know what goes on with you and now with your brother as well, but I…am going to brush this mishap aside just this once.”

When I glance up at the woman, she’s staring back at me with kind eyes. One’s I know my mother would be void of if she knew what I’d done.

“Why…?” Don’t ask me why I’m questioning getting off the hook. I should just accept it and move on but I guess my goddamn curiosity is getting the best of me in life lately. I’d like to completely rid myself of the useless emotion.

A small smile covers her features as she holds her arms close to her chest and sighs. “I can see that your brother moving in is probably causing you some stress. It’s normal for these kinds of things to happen.” She then raises a stern finger at me, the smile leaving her momentarily, “But this is your only freebie, alright?”

With surprise in my voice I nod rapidly. “Y-yeah, thank you…” I say while lowering my head.

She waves me goodbye then leaves and I can sense a veil of tranquility sweep around the entire area.  Suddenly, I realize that I’m starving. I literally haven’t eaten anything all day except a breadstick. Now would probably be the best time to try and stomach some food.

“You hungry, Anners?” I ask the small child while heaving her off the floor. 

“Hungee!” she tells me.

Before I turn the handle, I halt and remember that Keith is here. He could be downstairs right now or even just outside my door. The creeping anxiety in my gut sickens me but I force the thoughts out of my head with those words he told me in the school bathroom earlier today.

_“Then starting now, we’ll be nothing but brothers who hardly speak. I’ll ignore you, and you’ll ignore me. Got it?”_

_Just ignore him. That’s what he wants anyway._

_“Forget I exist.”_

_Pretend he doesn’t even exist._

When I push the door open, I stick to my mantra and continue on my way to the kitchen. Lucky for me, my brother is nowhere to be seen. He’s probably in his room, pretending I don’t exist as well.

“It’s for the best…” I say out loud while heating up some TV dinners for Annie and me.

I put in a Disney movie for her while we eat. Once I’m done stuffing my face, I can feel my eyelids begin to shut. The brightly colored animation is doing nothing but putting me in a trance. Before passing out completely, I place Annie in her play pen and give her a sippy cup. When I return to the chair, I close my eyes once more, though they soon fly back open to the sound of the front door unlocking.

Confusion enters me as I slowly lean myself over the side of the chair to get a better view of the entryway. My entire body almost face-plants when I realize who it is.

“D- _Dad_?!” There’s no more sleep in my eyes as I’m running over to him.

“Been a minute, huh kiddo?” he says while lowering several large bags to the ground. His deep voice resonates in my ears like a favorite song I’ve almost forgotten but still know the words to.

I can’t help but hug him. “Try like three months…” I state hesitantly.

He laughs and embraces me, patting his large hand onto my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Lance. I know I should have called more…but guess what?”

I pull away from him and sigh. He’s still the same, even though it’s been so long. I’m used to him disappearing like this anyway. It’s been that way with him since I was born.

“What?” I ask lowly, tears threating me once again but this time mostly out of joy.

He grins and pulls out a wrapped box from his duffle bag. “I got you this! _Annnd_ also, I have a few months until my next trip. So I’ll be staying home for a while.” He ruffles my hair and then walks off to the living room. “Where’s my Anners?!”

As I unwrap the present I overhear Dad playing with Annie, causing her to screech and giggle so loudly that it echoes through the hall.

There’s a very expensive gaming laptop beneath the wrapping paper. I can’t help but smile because at least he’s thinking about me when he’s off abandoning his family on these business trips.

“I got Annie a swing set for the back yard—it’s getting delivered tomorrow. You wanna help me put it together, kiddo?” Dad asks while he rounds the corner, the small girl on his shoulders.

My smile grows further. I haven’t spent any quality time with him in so long. My happiness is through the roof. “Hell yeah.”

“Hell-lah!” Annie cries, gripping Dad’s hair and tugging on it like its grass.

“Shit,” I mumble.

“Watch it! She sure is talkative now, isn’t she?” He whooshes her off his shoulders and into his arms once more. “Oh, Lance. Your mother mentioned that your half-brother is going to be staying here…” he says while eyeing me seriously. “Is he here yet?”

Of course he has to bring up Keith and ruin my good mood. “Yeah…”

As Annie pokes and prods his face with tiny fingers, he becomes concerned towards me. “Things a bit rocky, huh?”

“That’s an understatement…” I reply, arms crossed and exhaling sullenly. 

“Your mother, she…I know she never told you about him and frankly, I’ve only known for about two years now.” I glance up at him from the floor, eyes interested and absent at the same time. “I figured it wasn’t my place to be the one to tell you. And I know she doesn’t go about things the right way either. But Keith is her son and we should try to treat him like one of the family.”

Honestly, it astounds me how cool my dad is and that he can even stand being married to my bitch of a mother. He’s always been the “provide for the household” type, but also the “I want a family” type…it’s like he can never make up his mind. He can’t just disappear all the time and still expect us to be the normal happy family he wants.

Despite his many flaws, it’s insanely difficult to stay mad at someone like him.

“I’ve never met him, so I’m going to go introduce myself. Got him a present too…wasn’t sure what he liked so I figured every kid your age needs his own Xbox, right? Hopefully he doesn’t already have one…”  He places Annie in my arms and goes to grab another gift from his bag. “He upstairs?”

I shrug. “The guest room, I think.”  

He climbs the staircase and I watch as he disappears. All I can picture is Keith giving my dad the finger and slamming the door in his face. I wouldn’t be surprised if that new Xbox gets thrown down the stairs.

As I wait for what I assume to be more impending doom from my brother, I can faintly hear them talking. Nothing’s been thrown or slammed yet so I predict that’s a good sign. My heart is still pounding unnecessarily fast though.

After a few minutes, my dad descends and joins us once again.

“Try to be respectful of that one, alright kiddo?” the older man says as he points a thumb over his shoulder. I stare curiously toward him while balancing Annie on my hip. “He’s going to be very sensitive because of what happened to his dad. Being thrown into a new environment is probably very difficult for him as well. He deserves his space and understanding from all of us.”

Hearing those words trigger a large empty pit to take over my gut.

_Even if Keith is a shithead...he probably has every reason to be…_

Large hands clap together which cause me to jolt a bit. “So! Who wants to go bowling?”

My dad really likes bowling; it’s kinda his thing. Every time he comes home, we go. Not that I’m complaining—bowling’s cool. Honestly, I’m just so happy to be out of that house. Home has never really been a place of complete solitude and safety, but it’s where I live and now it’s inhabited by a brother I never asked for. Someone who drives me insane in more ways than one. The person I can’t even stand being within fifty feet of, yet I keep picturing him behind my eyelids.

_How am I ever going to get used to this…?_

“You alright, Lance?” my dad asks while holding a tray filled with soft pretzels and nachos. Seeing the food causes my stomach to rumble so I reach for some. There’s no way I can say no to greasy bowling alley grub.

Attempting to fight off my inner turmoil, I nod and stuff the cheesy pretzel in my mouth. I watch as he gives Annie an entire soft pretzel and she begins munching on it happily.

“You sure? You’re spacy. Like _extra_ spacey.”

Having my dad around now just makes me wish he was around more often. It gives me a foreboding feeling—like the clock is ticking, counting down the hours and minutes that I get to spend with him. It’s impacted me so much growing up that I’ve given up on the hope that things will ever be different. And even though I’ve cried countless times about how much I miss him when he’s gone and how horrible Mom is, he still leaves every time. Always so predictable, but I still cherish the moments I do get, I suppose.

“I’m fine, just…been having a hard time with…Keith, I guess…” I’m not sure why I thought bringing up my brother would make this situation any less agonizing. Heat boils in my stomach and the pretzel tastes like ash in my mouth. Such a fucking mistake.

“Does he not like you very much?” Dad asks while shoving nachos past his lips.

_I don’t wanna talk about Keith with my fucking dad. God, why did I even say his name?!_

“He, he just…uh…” I can feel the sweat start to form on my palms. I’m inhaling quicker and of course my body is shivering again. All I have to do is _think_ about him and I become diagnosed with dumbass in distress disorder. It takes all I have to sound somewhat normal. “N-no, he doesn’t…”

My dad’s eyebrow raises up beneath his bangs as he eyes me warily.  “Well, just give him some time. I’m sure he’ll learn to like ya!” He nudges me with an elbow and grins.

_I highly doubt that…_

Dad wins every game, even though he told me he’d go easy on me. I never really care. Bowling isn’t my thing after all. I’d rather play some old school RPG on the new laptop he bought me. And now that my dad is home, I’ll have way more free time to do just that.

As we pull into the driveway, I’m starting to get excited. I only have one chapter of history to read tonight and then its Lance time. Honestly, I can’t even remember the last night I had to myself without having to watch Annie and put her to sleep. Three months ago, I guess. I try not to think about how tragically sad that is.

“I’ll take Annie for the night, kiddo. Thanks for bowling with your old man,” Dad says while grinning and grabbing my sister from the backseat.

A sigh of relief exits me and I can’t help but smile. “Thanks…” And I mean it from the bottom of my pathetic teenage heart.

The house is quiet as I run up to the solitude of my room with my new computer to unbox. I notice my phone vibrating on my desk. My tard ass left it home, though I’m starting to think that might have been a blessing. When I reach for it, I notice there’s ten missed calls from Allura and a few from Shiro, Hunk, and Pidge. This is something I didn’t want to deal with tonight but if I want to keep any sort of friendship I have with all of them, I have to do something.

I press Allura’s number and rest the phone on my shoulder against my ear as I begin to unbox my gift. It only rings twice before I can hear her frantic voice through the speaker.

**“Lance?! What’s going on? Why haven’t you responded to us? You skipped fourth and fifth period!”**

Honestly, it feels like Allura is more of a mother to me than a girlfriend. Moms are supposed to be naggy and worried all the time, right?

I let out a heavy sigh and place the box down onto my lap. “I’m fine…I’m just having a hard time…adjusting…”

**“Adjusting to what…?”**

My eyes narrow as I rip harder at the cardboard and tape. “…To—just…I just…” With a loud grunt I accidentally slide my finger too hard across a particularly sharp side of the box. Stinging pain shoots through my nerve endings as blood begins to seep out of the cut. “ _Shit_!” I drop the phone and Allura is still loud on the other end.

**“Lance? Lance! What happened?! Hello?”**

With blood dripping down my arm, I glance back and forth from the phone to the door and decide to leave it. There’s nothing but rage in my step as I push myself past the door and into the bathroom. In the next moment, Keith is standing in the doorway as I’m fumbling around, trying to find a bandage.

I can feel his eyes on me. It’s making me insanely nervous.

“What the hell do you want?” I snap, bloodied hands gripping a roll of gauze.

“Sharing a bathroom with you is proving to be insufferable,” he says coolly, using an arm to push me aside so he can grab his toothbrush. As he runs the water and starts brushing he asks me, “…You slit your wrists or something?”

A few drops of blood fall to the floor and I eye them irritably. “Screw you. I thought we were ignoring each other?”

He spits into the sink and then turns towards me, seductively wiping a bit of foam from the side of his lips. I fully regret letting my eyes meet his. The insanely nauseating feeling enters my gut once again and I can sense my body turning against me. Fingers twitch as I hold them against my chest.

Keith takes a step towards me and I stand completely still, immobilized by his incredible aroma and steely gaze. He slowly reaches a hand toward me and grips my wrist between warm fingers. I flinch back, overwhelmed that he’s touched me so casually. His lavish eyes connect with mine again and I start to pant heavily, mouth dangling open like I’m some shitty desktop that’s just blue screened.  

“You’re getting blood everywhere…” he tells me, the composure in his voice is causing me to calm down, if only just a bit. Without waiting for me to respond, he clutches tighter and pulls my hand forward.

I watch with mystification as he wraps the gauze around my finger, gentle movements noticeably prominent. There’s quietness in the air that is horribly terrifying and yet welcoming at the same time. I swallow some spit that’s stuck to the insides of my cheeks as I try to control every ounce of sexual drive that’s screaming to be let out.

_Don’t get a hard-on. For the love of god, please, please don’t get a boner…_

“That’s the nastiest paper cut I’ve ever seen…” the dark-haired boy mentions while using his teeth to rip the medical tape.

I rapidly blink my watering eyes, drinking in his smell and the way his tongue sticks out slightly towards the edge of his lips as he finishes bandaging me. He’s fucking beautiful, and I’m allowing myself to think this because I’m completely exhausted and utterly drunk off his scent that I might as well be delusional.

_His hair looks so soft…I want to touch it…_

“That’s gunna leave a scar if you don’t get it stitched,” Keith says. Letting go of my hand, he rotates and begins washing his in the sink behind him.

As soon as he’s not looking, I set my eyes on the tile beneath me and realize how hot my face is. “I don’t care…” Right now, that’s the truth. I don’t care about anything except him right now. My dick twitches in my pants as I let my filthy eyes drift towards his backside, stopping on his ass. He’s wearing sweatpants that are hanging dangerously low on his hips.

_He did that on purpose. He must have. No, Jesus, of course he didn’t. Why would he? He doesn’t know, he…there’s no way. Sweet mother of fuck…kill me, just kill me…_

He turns and I jolt uneasily, hurriedly dropping an arm in front of my jeans.

“Suit yourself,” he states while shifting around me to dry his hands on the towel. “Can you leave, or should I go piss downstairs?”

I make a horribly strange sound with my throat as I attempt to reply to him. “I-I no, sorry. I mean, thanks. I’ll go now…”

Before Keith can say anything else, I practically run out of the bathroom and barricade myself behind my locked door.

_Things were easier when he was a straight up bastard. It’s like he’s playing mind games with me! What the fuck…what the fuck is going on…?_

I grip my hair between trembling fingers as I fold into the fetal position for the second time today. Even though I’m insanely confused and upset, the hardness in my pants persists and I’m left with no other choice than to jerk off.

As I crawl to my bed, I un-zip my jeans and pull myself out. My breathing has escalated and I can hear footsteps across the hall. Keith returns to his room and more blood rushes to my already stiff penis. The sudden realization that I’m about to fap to my brother causes tears to swell and drip onto my hands. Anger rises and I slam my head against the bed board behind me numerous times. With a sore skull and more tears, I curl into the blankets.

For almost half an hour I struggle with my sanity until the erotic urges finally subside. By now, it’s past ten and I realize that I still haven’t done my homework or explained anything to my girlfriend. I’ve only managed to make the situation worse and now she’s probably even more angry and confused.

_I didn’t even get to set up my computer…_

My eyes drift to the evil box that hurt my finger. I blame it for all my problems and welcome the sleep that envelopes me.

_Everything will be better tomorrow…_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya everyone! Thanks so much for reading! I know things are hard for Lance right now (I have a habit of causing my main characters a lot of grief...) so if you're not into that so much I apologize but that's just how I write! Things will get easier for him eventually though ^_^ Please leave a kudo or comment! Thanks again :D


	4. Chapter 4

****

Unfortunately, my cell didn’t run out of battery throughout the night and my six o’clock alarm blasts itself much too loudly in my ear drums. I find myself wishing I had thrown it in the mud yesterday and left it for dead. There isn’t an ounce of motivation left in me. I want to sleep until I’m forty.

Pretty sure that Annie and my dad are awake downstairs—I can hear clanging in the kitchen. The possibility of having my dad’s famous Belgian waffles gives me just enough incentive to slump to my closet, grab some clothes, and shower. My head feels insanely foggy and all I can think about while the water washes over me is my goddamn brother.

Why was he so nice to me last night? Did something change? He wasn’t calling me an idiot or making jabs at how big and expensive the bathroom shower is. It was a nice change, truthfully…I could really get used to him being so caring and pleasant.

As more time passes, I allow a few perverse thoughts to run rampant through my mind. There’s no stopping them at this point and I’ve had morning wood since I crawled out of bed. If I don’t rub one out before I go to school, I’ll be popping boners every five minutes. With convulsing fingers, I grip my dick and start to relieve myself. I push images of Keith’s hips and tongue out of my brain and try to think of Allura instead. Somehow it’s working and I’m feeling myself get closer and closer to coming.

_Her gorgeous face…her nipples…her butt…_

A soft moan escapes my lips as I steady myself on the tiled wall beside me. The faster I stroke, the sharper my breathing becomes. Unexpectedly, I’m getting frustrated because no matter how hard I grip, I can’t seem to climax.

I let one word slip out between gritted teeth, groaning around the syllable, “ _Fuck_ …” 

Without my consent, Keith appears behind my eyelids, smirking and licking his lips.

I orgasm in seconds. As soon as the waves of pleasure leave me, I begin to wretch, bile slowly seeping up my throat. I clasp a wet hand around my mouth and try to force the urge to vomit back down. I end up swallowing a nasty gulp of acid, eyes watering and throat gasping for air that seems to be nonexistent in the steamy room. My fingers slip and slide as I try to turn the water off. The paper cut from last night stings at my actions.

Without grabbing a towel, I fumble for my toothbrush and scrub my mouth out aggressively, causing my gums to bleed. When I spit into the sink, I’m breathing so heavily I think for a second that I might pass out. The mirror is fogged so I use my arm to clear away the mist. I’m left staring back at my disheveled form—soaking wet, chest heaving, toothpaste dribbling down my chin.   

_Oh fuck…what just…I just…_

“Oh shit…” There’s this unpleasant notion resonating within me that’s screaming and clawing its way upward. It’s making me want to rip my hair out in chunks.

I generate the effort to steady myself against the sink, my head hanging low, eyes strained on my feet. “This…this is really happening…oh god…” My voice breaks at the end and I can feel more bile escalating. I quickly grab a towel and wrap it haphazardly around my naked body. With my hand covering my mouth, I rush myself out of the bathroom and into my own. My entire body collapses onto the bed with a loud grunt.

“Why me…? _Why_ …?”

_I’ve liked girls for as long as I can remember! Since when have I wanted to jerk it to a dude let alone my own goddamn flesh and blood?! Am I cursed? Is this some kind of witchcraft? Is my brother secretly some evil spirit come to seduce me…?_

I admit, I have a very overactive imagination. Though right now, my mind is in shambles and I’m shocked that I can even manage to get myself dressed. Nothing stops me from sneaking down the stairs, to the left, and into my mother’s room to grab her bottle of pain pills. She never seems to notice if I take a few here or there and it looks like she didn’t come home last night, so I’ve got free reign. This particular prescription is for problems with her back and I make sure to take full advantage of her disability.  

Two swallowed Vicodin pills later, I let out a loud sigh and slip quietly back to my room. I just want to feel happy again…all this crushing anxiety can fuck off. In about fifteen minutes I’ll be floating. My eyes go straight to my phone once again and I lazily place it on the charger. The screen flashes at me and I stare back at it with burning disgust. I flip the device over and decide to leave it home. I’ll just make up some excuse as to why I don’t have it. That in itself will save me some trouble.

There’s about thirty minutes until the bus arrives and I can already start to feel the meds kicking in. An amazing aroma fills my nose which drives my body to descend the stairs again, this time to greet my family.

“Hey,” I wave a hand as I sit myself in one of the bar chairs. My dad nods my way and I gently poke Annie’s cheek beside me.

“How’d you sleep, kiddo?”

“Good,” I say, mouth watering. Even if I’m disgusted with myself internally, my stomach is astonishingly greedy.

“Keith coming down?”

My heart skips a beat but I mostly ignore it. “N-not sure. Haven’t seen him…”

_Only in the fucked up regions of my mind when I jacked off to him like ten minutes ago…_

“Oh well, why don’t you go ask him if he wants some waffles?” The older man turns to face me then points towards the stairs lightly.

I can feel the side of my eye twinge.

_I don’t think I’m high enough to see him…_

“Can I just like, eat first? I’m starving,” I question carefully.

“No Lance, go ask him. Yours won’t be done for another five minutes anyway,” he tells me, turning back around to the waffle maker.

I groan loudly and irritably stand from my chair.

“Don’t be a grouch, Lance!”

I try not to let my feet stomp against the stairs as I make my way to Keith’s door. A surge of pure bliss floats over me when I stop moving.

_Okay, I’m definitely high now._

Using my knuckles, I knock against the wood and say, “Hey! If you’re hungry, come eat.”

There’s nothing but silence on the other side so I shrug and knock once more before heading down the staircase again.

“He’s probably still sleeping,” I mention, seating myself in the same chair. This time around though, I lean a bit too heavily sideways and tilt the chair’s leg up. My stomach drops as I fight to steady myself and not let my entire body go crashing into the linoleum.

Thankfully, Dad doesn’t turn around until I’m upright. I just hope I don’t look too glazed.

He squints a bit at me then nods and puts a plate in front of me. “He’s probably not a morning person like you.”

I let out a marginal laugh. “Yeah…”

Annie gives me a piece of a soggy waffle which I happily eat while I wait for my dad to finish making mine. When he does, I devour three of them in minutes. It’s the best breakfast I’ve had in a long time. I almost feel like we’re a family again—even if it’s a pathetic one.

“So, you dating anyone, kiddo?”

The last piece of waffle slides uncomfortably down my throat when he asks me that question. “Uh, yeah actually…”

“Of course you are. You’re quite the ladies’ man, aren’tcha?” He elbows me and I become so afraid I might lose my balance on the chair again that I push him away a little violently. He just grins and rustles my hair with a big hand.

I close my eyes and run my tongue across my teeth, attempting to sound cool. “They can’t resist me.” The pills are helping me stay composed. Sure, I’m dating Allura now, but what about when she finds out that I want to fuck my older brother?

_Oh damn…I really need to stop thinking about him._

“Well bring her by sometime; I’d love to meet her!” Dad states, delighted as always. It’s strange how he can act so carefree. I know as soon as Mom rears her ugly head all hell is going to break lose. Hopefully I won’t be around to witness that shit show.

My head dips as I stand and put my plate in the sink. I feel stoned so I can’t help but smile. “Yeah, sure thing.”

I sit and chat with my dad for the next fifteen minutes or so. The clock is going abnormally fast. I wish that I could just stay home all day. Fixing my problems at school is going to be such a hassle. Though at least I’m all warm and fuzzy now, so maybe the whole thing won’t be so bad. Depends on how long these meds end up staying in my system, I guess.

The bus is going be here in about five minutes and I glance curiously toward the stairs for the third time or so. Keith still hasn’t come down. He’ll miss the damn bus if he doesn’t get his ass up.

“I’ll go get Keith…” I mumble out loud as I climb the stairs once again.

I knock furiously on the door this time, not bothering with being polite. “Yo! The bus will be here any minute, dude! I’m leaving without you if you don’t—”

The door creaks open and there he is in all his glory. His hair is a mess, eyes lidded and drowsy. The baggy shirt he’s wearing is dangling off his left shoulder, revealing pale skin to my wandering eyes. He leans an elbow against the frame as he glares in my direction.

“I’m not taking the bus, dumbass,” he states lithely, lids narrowed over lavender irises. 

_Well, he’s insulting me again. Guess we’re back to square fucking zero._

“Why the hell not?” I question, arms crossed over my chest while I attempt to focus my attention on anything but the skin showing on his shoulder. I swear the pills are making me horny. God, it’s like I didn’t even masturbate earlier.

_…Fuck me diagonally._

He yawns and leans back a bit. “Because I have a bike. I only took the bus yesterday because I had to.”

My own eyes tighten now. “Uh, dude, you’ll never make it to school on time if you bike.”

Keith blinks lazily. “It’s a crotch rocket, moron. Not a bicycle.”

“Uh…what?”

“Don’t even think about going near it either or I’ll castrate you. It was my dad’s…” he mumbles the last part as he throws me daggers with his stunning eyes.

I’m so impressed and shocked that random questions keep bubbling up. It’s what happens when I’m high and nervous at the same time. “You have your license…? What color’s the bike?”

A perfect eyebrow rises as he sighs. “Red. And yes.”

“That’s so cool…” I mutter, my gaze stuck on his shoulder. There’s that dreaded churning in my stomach again and I can’t seem to drive it away, probably because I can’t stop looking at him. Plus now I know he really _does_ drive a motorcycle…why is that so fucking hot?  

Keith’s dark hair comes into view as he glances at me, curiosity layering his flawless face. Seconds tick by as he just stares at me and I stare back, as if we’re having some kind of impulsive hallmark moment.

His voice pulls me out of my stupor. “Are you high?”

_How the fuck does he know that? I swear to god he’s psychic…if that’s the case then I’m knee deep in shit._

I blink furiously as my body automatically backs away slightly. A faintly nervous chuckle escapes me as I tell him, “ _Nooo_ , I’m not…”

“You’re lying. What are you on? Where did you get it?”

My eyes grow large at his demanding tone.

_What the hell…?_

Dad abruptly shouts from downstairs, “Lance, I think the bus is here!”

“Oh fuck…” I turn on my heels and just as I do, I’m caught by my shirt. Keith has the cloth in such a death grip that he’s practically choking me.

“ _Dude_ —!”

“You can ride with me to school,” he says so hurriedly I almost can’t understand what’s been said. As I stare puzzled back at him, he growls deeply and reiterates himself once again, “Just tell him I’ll take you on my bike!”

The severity of his voice has me stumbling over my words. I shout the message to my dad and I can just barely catch his reply, “Alrighty then!” before I’m pulled into Keith’s room and the door is shut behind me.

When he lets me go, I quickly flip around and gape at him in utter distress. “You know I’m _really_ getting sick of you dragging me around like that!”

“You gunna answer me or not?” he speaks impatiently while slipping off his shirt.

My face feels like lava.

_There’s so much skin for me to look at now…_

Keith faces me, glaring and half-naked. I think I might implode. “Where’d you get the shit?” he pushes, stepping closer to me.

I clench my jaw tightly and swallow. “How’d you…know I was high?”

He uses a finger to point dangerously close to my left eye. “Your pupils are dilated. That’s narcotics 101, little brother.”

Keith shirtless and smirking while calling me “little brother” has caused my entire body to feel like it’s been inflated with helium. As if I wasn’t having a hard enough time dealing with my ass-backwards obsession with him, he reminds me that we’re related and I can already feel my pants getting tighter. I’m at the epitome of screwed up in the head. I doubt things can get any worse.

“W-well fuck…” I let out an awkward chuckle and rub the back of my hair nervously, eyes leaving him to stare safely at the floor instead. At least the floor won’t give me a boner.

“Spill it,” he mouths.

“Or what?” I challenge, still glaring at the ground.

“…I’ll decline the bike invitation.”

My shoulders flinch. “…F-fine! I’ll just have my dad take me!”

The older boy looks like he wants to spit in my face. “How about I go tell him you’re baked? I bet little rich boys get in trouble when their parents find out they’re doing drugs.”

Through the warmth in my stomach, I let out a low groan. I feel defeated, like I have to obey him. There’s no way I can risk Dad finding out. “They’re Mom’s pain pills for her back, alright? Jesus, why do you even care?”

“I want some,” he says matter-of-factly.

My chest tightens when I slowly glance at him again. “Why…?”

He speaks his next words with nothing but remorse, “Because my mind is in perpetual suicide-hell and I’d like to feel something other than pain for five seconds of my life.”

Once again, I suffer from a horrible ache deep inside me. It’s his hurt reflecting and I hate it. I can’t stand the way his sadness makes me feel so I speak quickly. “I can only get you a few. If I take too many she’ll notice.”

When he raises his gaze to meet mine another time, it’s small, but there’s a smile on his face. Not a smirk or a grin, but an actual smile. I can sense this growing urge that’s starting to crave the way he’s looking at me. Like some kind of addiction. Even though deep down I know I shouldn’t be supplying my seemingly depressed brother with opiates, I’m selfish because I desire to be the reason that he’s happy again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys! Please let me know what you think with a comment and kudos :D


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